Washington Driving Test - how I flunked it.

Know the feeling when you're sure something going to happen well before it happens? Well, I had one of those about flunking my driving test. For starters, me and my license buddy didn't start off on the right foot.

Driving license guy (DLG): "show me hand signals for left, right and stop."
ME: "Dunno. I use indicators."
DLG: "It's in the book! page 62 bullet 6."
ME: "okay. Sorry about that."
DLG: okay, pull out of the parking."
ME: "Can you please go outside and look out for me?"
DLG: *wtf*
ME: "*sweet smile* page 57 bullet 4...when possible, ask someone to go outside and look when you're backing out."

Big surprise he flunked me.

To add to that, the entire universe seemed to be conspiring in an alchemist kind of way. People and cars were in places they weren't s'posed to be in, an uncountable number of old people and unleashed kids tried to get under my wheels, and I saw road signs I had never seen in my 3 month, 1000 mile driving history.

I take some personal blame too. A little. I hit the curb. Fumbled my parking. Didn't dramatize my over the shoulder looks. So instead of entirely cribbing, I decided to make a list for my fellow driving impaired to fight the system.

1. Know the hand signals - Every driving test starts with the DLG quizzing you about hand signals.

2. Exaggerate the looking over shoulder - The DLG wasn't happy with my quick glances, despite my reassuring "I saw".

3. Getting in and out of the traffic - Refer to previous.

4. Parallel parking - Practice. I didn't get it right the first time. And the first time happened to be during the test. If you don't get it right,take your time - do not hit the curb!

5. Stop and don't stop - Know when you should stop and not stop. I braked at a pedestrian crossing with no pedestrians on it. DLG wasn't happy. "hehe..better safe than sorry" didn't make it better.

6. Turns - Time to brag. I aced these! For left, patience is a virtue. Wait till the road's clear before you start the turn. For right, you're too much patience is penalized. Stop, look, go.

7. Don't be a smartass.

The good news? Roads are still safe. Officially.